Storytelling Week 10: Drona's Despair

           At first, the words do not fully hit you until a few moments later because you cannot believe that something so horrific could actually be possible.  A million terrible thoughts crawled through my mind as I was told that my son had been killed.  A father should never have to see his son die before him.  To lose a child is one of the most painful experiences that no one should ever have to experience.  It was as if I had lost apart of myself.  In a moment, I had lost everything that I had to live for.  My mouth became dry, and I was unable to speak.  I do not believe that I even had the will to cry because I was so incredibly shocked.  I had no desire to be on this earth any longer.  I was fully prepared to die and leave this world that my son had so cruelly been evicted from.

Before this incident, I was invincible.  Nothing could stop me—no man, no beast, no weapon, no god, and no amount of power could stop my destruction.  However, it was this very instance that broke me.  It broke my will to live, my spirit, my hopes, and my plans.  I shriveled into nothing, absolute nothing.  There are no other words to explain how I felt in that very moment.  No word, no matter how powerful, could describe the type of pain that ran through my mind.  No measurement could be taken to understand the amount of pain that came with this terrible news.  The only word that comes to mind when I try to describe how I feel is nothing.  Nothing to live for and absolutely nothing left to die for.  With that thought, I began to take off my armor as tears stung my eyes and began to silently roll down my cheeks and onto the floor.  I noticed a man quietly standing behind me, waiting for the right moment, and I knew that he would have no hesitation in taking my life.  In a funny way, I was thankful.  I was thankful that someone was there to end my suffering and misery.  I had no desire to breathe the air of this world unless my son was also inhaling it.  Once I was finished with my amour, I got to my knees and bowed my head waiting for that final blow to bring relief.  

Drona during the war.  Source: Wikipedia.

Author’s Note

For this story, I wanted to give Drona a voice when he hears that his son was killed.  I know that within the original, Drona would never have had time to have much inner dialogue with himself besides the obvious despair of losing his son.  However, I just wanted to elaborate on a father’s thoughts after he has lost a child.  The story is true to the plot.

Bibliography

Narayan, R. K. (1978). The Mahabharata.